


baby, me and you, we vintage (but tonight you make me miss it)

by shirosayas (landfill)



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Cheesy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Exes, Getting Back Together, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28571871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landfill/pseuds/shirosayas
Summary: in which seongwoo has long broken up with the city’s resident superhero, but everyone else still hasn’t gotten the memo.especially the villains.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Ong Seongwu
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

In retrospect, the cons clearly outweighed the pros. 

“Ong Seongwoo,” says a masked figure, emerging from the fallen rubbles of his apartment’s ceiling. “Come along if you know what’s good for you.”

Seongwoo glances at the digital clock on his microwave. 

It’s 6am. 

The mayonnaise that spilled on his checkered pyjamas is probably going to leave a stain and his sandwich is definitely contaminated by all the dust in the air and it’s. _FUCKING_. 6am. 

“I’m not going to repeat myself a second time.” 

Wordlessly, Seongwoo drops the sandwich into the trash and stares at his wasted breakfast. 

He doesn’t feel hunger. Just bitterness. It was a damn good sandwich. 

“Dude, are you seriously ignoring me?” 

The offended scoff that follows is understandable, but Seongwoo is just _so_ tired of this. 

“Don’t think that just because your boyfriend—” 

“We broke up.” 

The villain staggers back. “What.” 

“Me and Orion,” Seongwoo starts, and briefly considers having this pre-recorded on his phone for moments like this, “we broke up.”

There’s a brief silence to process the new information. 

In the meanwhile, Seongwoo checks the outlet for his electric kettle, which is thankfully still functional, and starts boiling some water.

The sound of bubbling liquid is deafening.

“...Well this kinda throws a wrench into my plans.”

“ _Oh no_ ,” Seongwoo deadpans, eyes blank as he pours an instant coffee sachet into his mug, “my apologies for no longer having worth as emotional blackmail against my ex.”

The sound of sirens in the vicinity starts howling in time as the kettle’s bleeps. 

“Understandable, have a nice day.” 

Seongwoo waves them off. “Don’t let my nonexistent roof hit you on your way out.” 

It somehow does anyway. 

Seongwoo stares at the widening hole in his ceiling, pieces crumbling onto the floor, bit by bit.

At least this villain has the decency to mumble a half-hearted _uh… sorry_ before disappearing into the sky.

A minute later, Seongwoo takes a sip of his coffee. 

It tastes like shit. 

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


By the time the police arrived, Seongwoo is already halfway through his third cup of this shitty, bland-as-fuck instant coffee.

“Have you um…” Officer Kim looks at him, visibly concerned, “considered renting somewhere else?”

Seongwoo looks at her as he downs the cup to the last few tasteless drops. 

The freshly signed lease inside his drawer is the only thing that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“All the time.”

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


The thing with dating and, subsequently, breaking up with a public figure, is that everyone wants to get all up in his grill about what happened. 

That part, Seongwoo can deal with. _Tried_ to deal with.

But apparently, updating his relationship status on social media for all the nosy tabloids and stalkerish fangirls isn’t enough to convince his case, let alone spread the news. 

“Maybe you should go on a sabbatical?” Daehwi suggests.

Seongwoo mulls over it for a moment. 

It’s not a bad idea. 

“Oh yeah, that’ll be fun,” Jihoon drawls, tongue sharpened and ready to strike. “Fly off to another country where your on-call bodyguard will take _ages_ to reach you. That’s a _swell_ idea.”

Seongwoo glowers at the hope-ruining, unhelpful little shit. “Then what do _you_ suggest?”

Jihoon sighs. “You know, if you really want to shut everyone up once and for all, it’s simple.”

“Just date someone else.”

Seongwoo blinks. 

Holy shit, Jihoon is a genius.

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


Seongwoo downloads a dating app.

_Just date someone else,_ he repeats in his head, then everyone will get the hint that things between him and Orion were over.

It’s perfectly logical.

But halfway through filling out his profile, an uncomfortable feeling starts gnawing at his chest.

Ten seconds later, he exits back to the home screen and deletes it altogether.

Fuck this, Jihoon is an idiot. 

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


The thing with dating and, subsequently, breaking up with an annoyingly popular superhero, is that, weirdly, nobody is convinced that they’ve truly broken up, or _worse_ , believe that they will eventually get back together anyway.

_It’s because you’re his main love interest,_ Jaehwan told him once. _Does Superman date anyone other than Lois Lane? Does The Flash flirt with anyone other than Iris West? You do the math._

It was some weirdly sound logic. Coming from Jaehwan of all people. 

And in a way, it does make sense.

Doesn’t mean Seongwoo have to agree with it though.

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


He stops trying to correct them around the twenty-ish kidnapping. 

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


This time, Seongwoo’s tied to a wooden chair, sitting in the middle of another dingy warehouse that this city somehow never seems to run out of and every villain has a strange fetish for. 

“Why is he taking so long?” One of the henchmen to his left grumbles.

“Yeah,” the one to his right turns to Seongwoo and nudges his leg, “did he go to space, or another parallel dimension again?” 

Seongwoo sighs. No point in admitting that he doesn’t know nor does he give two shits about which comic book adventure the almighty Orion Pax has gotten up to lately.

“Well. No matter,” the one on the left grins; Seongwoo decides to call them Henchman A, “he’ll come for you. He always does.” 

_Technically_ , Seongwoo silently corrects, he’ll come for _anyone_. 

Because his ex is the poster boy for fairness and morality. There’s no difference, whether it’s Seongwoo or a ten year old kid crying their snot out. 

“Wait.” A phone is suddenly shoved way too close to his face. “You guys broke up???” 

“ _Yes_ ,” Seongwoo says, drained. “Why don't any of you stalk my socials before stalking me in real life like a normal person?”

Henchman A scoffs. “Bullshit. This is a ruse, right? You’re too cute of a couple to break up that easily!”

Seongwoo grimaces. “Please stop.” 

“Okay, but did you actually?” Henchman B says, clearly distraught. “Because if you did, I have some _very_ distressing news to confirm with my sister.” 

He doesn’t bother dignifying that with a response. 

  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


If second-hand embarrassment could induce heart attacks, then Seongwoo would gladly die right here and now.

“I knew it!” Henchman A screams after them, excitement way too palpable for someone who just got knocked sideways into the ground, “I knew true love would never die!”

Silently, Seongwoo glues his face to his palms in misery. 

“I’m begging you. Please. PLEASE. Leave me to die next time.”

He doesn’t see the amused smile that etches on Orion’s face, trying not to laugh as they fly away. 

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


Things were a lot more tolerable when they were still dating.

Then again, why wouldn’t it be? Anything is tolerable in a relationship if you’re horny enough for each other.

(Not that his ex is any less attractive now, but facts doesn’t support Seongwoo’s argument, so fuck them.)

And for all the inconvenience that comes with publicly dating a superhero and becoming the token damsel in distress, it was kind of nice, being carried like this once in a while.

Seongwoo doesn’t have an issue with the million pictures of him being flown bridal-style on the internet either. His sister _wishes_ her boyfriend had the strength. 

The real issue is when he’s reminded of _this_ , of how he has never truly feared for his life even when he’s abducted by power hungry maniacs or carried miles above the sky.

There’s this sense of reassurance, _safety_ , that Seongwoo can’t quite explain. 

Which is a solid testament to what a good superhero Orion Pax is, and not at all relevant to Seongwoo’s personal feelings about an ex named Hwang Minhyun. 

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

But if Seongwoo allowed himself to be vulnerable for once, perhaps he could admit that there is a part of him that still, and will always trust Minhyun. 

(And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.)

Too bad it’s never going to happen, so he should at least convey his gratitude like a proper citizen.

_Nope_. Instead, he says, “All the money you would’ve owed me by now if I didn’t have insurance.” 

A mask covering half of the superhero’s face doesn’t hide the obvious clench of his jaw to Seongwoo’s eyes. 

“...You just imagined dropping me to the ground didn’t you?”

Minhyun looks at him, flashing his disgustingly handsome signature smile. 

“All the time, Seongwoo-yah.” 

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


In the middle of his lunch break, a building four blocks over suddenly erupt into flames. 

“Wow,” Jaehwan takes out his phone and starts recording without missing a beat. “That’s a big one.”

Daniel hums in agreement, mouth stuffed to the brim and eyes blinking inquisitively at the sight. 

Seongwoo squints. “Should I be concerned about how desensitised you two already are after living here for barely a year?”

“Should you?” Jaehwan questions. “The real concern here is that another building was attacked and not ours for once.”

Seongwoo feels the guilt trip like a sword stabbing through his gut. 

“Maybe Orion started dating someone else already?” Daniel wonders, with absolutely no intent of malice, but ironically, cuts _much_ deeper than Jaehwan. 

Truthfully, the concept of Minhyun moving on so quickly is… uncomfortable. Not that it’s any of Seongwoo’s business if he did, but.

Ouch. 

“Not every supervillain scheme revolves around Orion, you know,” Seongwoo says, teeth gritting. 

Both of them give him an offended look, like he’d just personally flipped off all of their ancestors, one by one.

“He’s our representative superhero!” Daniel says, defensive, “EVERYTHING revolves around him.”

“Don’t worry hyung,” Jaehwan leaves a consoling pat on his shoulder, “I’m sure he’ll take you back eventually and—”

“Oh my god,” Seongwoo groans, “for the _last_ time. It was a MUTUAL break up.” 

Jaehwan snickers. 

“Said every dumpee ever.”

Without hesitation, Seongwoo presses his ice-cold coffee can right into Jaehwan’s cheek. 

The inhuman screech that follows is music to his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   * onghwang is dead but who cares, i need to start airing out trashed drafts/wips from 2018
>   * loosely based on both ‘my super ex gf’ and the tragically cancelled ‘powerless’ series. i’m not original. never was never will be.
>   * fun fact: orion pax is optimus prime’s former name, according to fandom wiki or smth. idc about transformers but minhyun n his fetish for optimus certainly does.
> 



	2. Chapter 2

In spite of Seongwoo’s life still being fucked six ways to Sunday because of a relationship he no longer benefits from, and a dangerous lack of sleep aside, the working aspect is actually pretty good.

The Research and Development Department of Swings Security is about to release a new product and as the Head of Engineering, Seongwoo can already smell the hefty check coming their way once his baby breaks the market.

Really, it’s the money that keeps them all going.

“I’m going to take a damn vacation,” Jaehwan says, resolute. “Somewhere far, far away from the terror of corporate capitalism and their sweatshops.”

“ _Coward_.” Woojin snorts, unimpressed. “At least pretend to fight the system if you’re gonna criticise it.”

“I’m getting a new playhouse for my kids,” Daniel grins, giddy. “They’re gonna love it.”

“Can somebody please tell him that being a cat dad is not a personality trait?”

Daniel smiles stiffly.

And to no one’s surprise, he lunges for Jaehwan, swiftly throwing him into a chokehold within seconds.

“How about you hyung?” Daehwi nudges Seongwoo, collectively ignoring Jaehwan’s strangled cries of _HELP, I’m being MURDERED!_

“Huh?”

“What are you going to treat yourself with? A camera?”

Seongwoo doesn’t think he’s that much of an open book, but anyone who knows him would’ve caught the head engineer ogling the new Leica M21 model for the past two weeks.

It’s honestly the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

The massive ISO range. The hyper shutter speed. And the sleek, ergonomic grip.

Just the thought of having it in his hands— _hng_.

“Did you just—” Jihoon looks disgusted, “—moan out loud, thinking about a camera?”

“I—”

“It’s not nice to kink shame people, Jihoon-ah.” Daehwi frowns.

Seongwoo chokes. “Wait. No. Guys, I don’t have a kink—”

A sudden _OOOAUGHOAUA! OOOAW OAUA!_ shocks them all into refocusing their attention to the front of the room, where the Head of Swings Security is currently standing.

“Jesus christ, did he get his voice box ripped out by Megatron or something?”

“No, I did not Woojin. But thank you for your… colourful references.”

Woojin raises his thumb, blatantly disregarding the corporate ladder hierarchy as always.

“No probs bro.”

Jisung heaves a heavy sigh.

“Anyways, before I start our morning briefing, there’s uh—” Jisung glances at the memo in his hand, “—a message from reception: _If anyone here **‘accidentally’** took a blue checkered umbrella from the stand downstairs yesterday, please kindly return it to Sungwoon as soon as possible and he’ll promise to **only** break your kneecaps and_—”

He immediately throws the note away like a red hot iron.

“ _Nope_. I am _not_ reading the rest of that. If you're the culprit who took Sungwoon’s umbrella, I advise you to own up to it quickly.”

The room lapses into complete silence.

“Okay… well, to get started, I would like to say thank you to everyone,” Jisung says, kindly, “you’ve all been doing great work and I can’t wait for the launch of our Villain-Alert Watches next month.”

“Hell yeah!” Daniel took that as a cue to start fist-bumping everyone in the vicinity.

Until he reaches Jihoon, whose sunken eye bags make his RBF _extra_ menacing this morning, and recoils appropriately.

“Um.” Jisung clears his throat. “Well, as you’re all aware. The position of department head for R&D has been vacant for some time now… so good news! Upper management just told me they’ve found someone for the job.”

The entire room collectively groans.

“Okay, _wow_ , I get it, no need to shoot the messenger.”

Seongwoo rolls his eyes, equally as unimpressed as everyone else.

Upper management are just a bunch of out-of-touch fossils with no vision nor understanding of how shit actually works. Every pompous prick they’ve sent from corporate to run this department ran off as quickly as they came once they realised they couldn’t handle _anything_.

“On that note, he’s actually here… today,” Jisung smiles awkwardly, very aware of the growing animosity in the room.

_Great_ , Seongwoo thinks, so on top of trying not to get targeted by his ex’s playmates, barely sleeping and managing his exhausted engineers, now he has to put up with some asshole who knows nothing, breathing down their necks on the daily. 

“Please come in!”

The steady footsteps of expensive dress shoes is already telling, and Seongwoo is too distracted by a streak of detergent on a nearby window to acknowledge the newcomer.

“ _Damn_.” Jaehwan wolf-whistles out of nowhere. “Muy caliente.”

That immediately returns Seongwoo’s attention to the front, where his eyes travel from shiny dress shoes, to dark, slim-fit dress pants that compliment the rest of the sleek suit ensemble and a youthful, handsome face. 

Seongwoo pauses, squinting.

In his sleep-deprived state, Seongwoo’s facial recognition software takes approximately 0.908 seconds longer than usual to kick in.

And when it finally does, he’s struck with the realisation that God is well and truly dead.

“Hi everyone,” says the prick who still has annoyingly kissable, plump, pink lips, because the universe decided that NOW was the time to fuck Seongwoo’s life up a _seventh_ way.

“My name is Hwang Minhyun. I’ll be taking over as Head of Research and Development starting from today.”

Seongwoo immediately stands up, looking more than a little unhinged. 

“What the fuck—”

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


“—are you doing here?” Seongwoo hisses once they’re out of earshot, in the comfort of the storage room.

“It’s… a long story. Mostly confidential, so I can’t really divulge anything, sorry.”

Seongwoo huffs, but he’s not actually that angry because Minhyun truly looks apologetic about this. 

“All I can tell you is obviously, I’m undercover, and I promise I’ll be out of your hair as soon as it’s over.” 

As soon as it’s over? Okay _woah_ , like, is Seongwoo really coming off that aggressively?

“I didn’t mean—” Seongwoo stutters, “—it’s… yeah, whatever. I know this is definitely something important. You don’t have to explain. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. Sorry—” Oh god why is he rambling? “—I’m just. You know, not much sleep and… stuff.”

Minhyun chuckles.

“I can see that.”

Embarrassed, Seongwoo starts looking around the room.

Wow, the peeling paint on that left corner is interesting.

“Okay, well. If you need anything, just let me know. I mean, I’m kinda busy, but I got time to spare if—”

His eyes mistakenly land back on Minhyun’s face, smiling at him.

“—if you need help… and—”

With _the look_.

“—I’ll do what I can… so—”

The one that’s one part fond and two parts soft and does things to Seongwoo’s heart that he’s not allowed to be doing because they’re not even on kissing terms right now and it really, fucking, _sucks_ because Minhyun is right, fucking, _there_ and he can’t even—

“—okay bye,” Seongwoo squeaks, totally dignified, and immediately ducks out of the room. 

_Nope._

_Nope, nope, nope._

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


_Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope._

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  


“Is he… okay?”

Jaehwan glances at Seongwoo — hunched over his work desk, surrounded by empty corpses of coffee cans, hair frazzled in different directions, eyes twitching as he micro-assembles the inner circuits board, still muttering the same mantra of _nope, nope, nope_ for the past sixteen hours — and shrugs noncommittally.

“He seems fine to me.”

“Ugh, you’re no help,” Daehwi says and turns to Jihoon. “What’s wrong with him?”

The lead engineer looks up, watches Seongwoo for a moment, and rolls his bloodshot eyes.

“He needs to get laid. ASAP.”

  
  


⁛ ⁛ ⁛

  
  


“Attention, my fellow tired, overworked engineers,” Jaehwan greets, “I’m sure you’re all feeling like absolute shit, so let’s just get right to it.”

He flips the centre whiteboard, unveiling the hidden scoreboard they haven’t touched for months.

“Any takers?”

“Twenty bucks,” Woojin dangles a bill and sets it on the table, “says he’ll last a month.”

“ _Coward_ ,” Jaehwan spits back and slams down his own bills. “Forty. In two weeks. Nobody’s ever lasted that long.”

“Hmm, I don’t know hyung,” Daehwi contests, “this one seems like he could be here to stay.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s actually pretty respectful of our space,” Daehwi reasons, “and hasn’t tried to harass or hound anyone over the schedule. Personally, I think he’s pretty nice?” 

“Yeah, he’s really cool,” Jinyoung pops up, nodding in agreement. “I like him.”

“You only have one cameo and _this_ is what you use it on?” Jaehwan questions. 

“Speaking of which, yesterday he saw my cat photos and complimented them,” Daniel adds. “I think I’m in love.”

Jaehwan pinches his nose, pained. “You know, it really kills the competitive mood if you guys keep saying nice things about him.”

Out of nowhere, Jihoon slams his hand on the table, the impact hard enough to make it _shake_. 

“A hundred,” the lead engineer says, undeterred by the shocked gasps surrounding him, “that he’ll be gone in a _week_.”

“Hell yeah,” Jaehwan grins, “now _that’s_ the spirit.”

“I’m gonna go with Jihoon then,” Daniel grins and throws down a fifty.

“Same,” Woojin echoes, adding another twenty.

At that moment, Seongwoo enters the room, looking even more dishevelled than usual, but the entire department is used to his messy near-deadline state by now.

“Hey, hyung,” Jaehwan beckons, “we’re doing another betting pool, you in?”

“No thanks,” he replies, because the last thing he needs on his mind right now is anything that potentially relates to Minhyun.

_Wait, shit_ , Seongwoo realises his mistake belatedly, because he’s usually the first one to start blowing cash on this shit and not partaking would be _extremely_ out of character for him.

After all, _he_ started the betting pool.

But it’s too late, the words have been spoken into existence and now they’re all eyeing him very, _very_ suspiciously.

“I’m just. Really broke,” he lies, compensating with a casual laugh for the lame excuse.

_Fuck_ , that sounded _so_ fake, even to his ears.

“I think I hear someone calling me. Bye!”

They squint at his retreating back.

“Well that was fucking weird,” Jaehwan says, disturbed, “anyways… anybody else?”

In the background, Woojin crouches on the right side of Jihoon’s table, watching Seongwoo through the glass wall.

“Seongwoo-hyung might not be mentally sound, but last I checked, he doesn’t normally have psychosis.”

“You noticed it too?” Daehwi joins in on the left, “I thought it was just the lack of sleep and caffeine high but no, he’s been extra jumpy lately.”

Jihoon raises a brow, silently observing Seongwoo for a minute.

Then he makes a mental note of how the head engineer, for some reason, constantly maintains a six feet distance minimum from a certain new department head. 

Jihoon leans back into his chair, pondering all the amusing possibilities. 

“Interesting…”


End file.
